So I don’t know what’s wrong with me…I just don’t feel right. And that makes absolutely ZERO sense to me! I mean, I’ve just become a single gal, I’m young (26yo), I’m in the BEST shape of my life (dropped 15 lbs in the last year, am probably under 15% body fat, have killer toned arms, lol), I feel beautiful…
I am just feeling so pathetic and inadequate. I feel broken, physically and mentally. I am a drama queen. I don’t know what I am doing with my life or my career at the moment – which really means I have NO JOB. I don’t have a love life at all, and it looks bleak in the near future. I feel resistant, I feel like I’m holding back. I feel so insecure and meek and unassertive. I don’t feel like myself.
I just got back from a Catholic retreat on Sunday…it was a 3 day retreat titled “What’s Next?” – which pretty much talked about life’s transitions (good or bad) and how to deal with them and what they mean. Well…I thought I got a lot out of the weekend; and I still think I did, but right now, in this moment I am feeling pretty shitty. And I’m not trying to be a downer, just honest.
I also feel like I am being a terrible dog-owner. Part of me wants to move out to California to be with my brother and I feel like that would be super-cruel to make my dog make that trip/transition.
Ugh, I hate this worthless feeling. God, please make it go away!!!
