Yesterday C’s grandfather passed away. He lost his battle with cancer (on his skin, that spread everywhere) and congestive heart failure. C seems to be hiding it well, but I know he’s broken up about it; his dad and step mom are not okay either. Last night C and I toasted to his grand-dad, and man I was able to meet a few times. He was sweet, just like C’s dad, and very smart.
It reminds me of five years ago, around this time, when my mom died. I have been able to block out the minute-by-minute memories of when she got sick and then the week later when she died, all so unexpectedly. Just thinking about how quickly she was taken away from me brings tears to my eyes. How I don’t remember the last time I heard her voice or what she said, or when I got one of her good hugs. And although I can still see her lying there in the ICU, a tube down her throat, her head bandaged from the surgery, and the glassy look in her eyes – the memory I see every time I think of her, she is laughing and smiling big, her eyes crinkling up at the corners the way they did when when my brother said something or did something hilarious; one of the many times in our last year or so together when she really let go and just had fun. I’m happy that she had those moments and we got to have them with her.
I was just looking in the “box of Mom” I have — a collection of some of her personal items, “Mother” books I’ve bought over the years, letters to me from her, and pictures. A large envelope of cards is also associated with it, because these are the sympathy notes I received after she passed. I got cards from people I’d never met, some that I only saw once or twice, and good friends. I was reading some of these items and was taken aback at how openly people reached out to me and my family.
I did of course toss out the card I found from my boyfriend at that time, the guy I dated for 2 1/2 years who cheated on me not 3 months after my mom died. In the card he wrote, “I love you and will always be here for you for anything! Xoxoxoxo, My Love Forever, JEFF BEEBE.” I hope he Googles his name and reads this because he’s an asshole and a douche bag and I threw the card out today after I found it. I have never read a sentence that was more of a crock.
Anyways, I’m hoping to get C’s dad’s address so I can overnight them some of my “O” cookies…they’ve never tasted them before but I hope they help!!!!!!!!!!!
K
